What Happens When A Vampire Gets Burned Out In The Vampire Community?

How does anyone get burned out?  In general, I believe it comes from the frustration of one’s personal experience not being able to match up with one’s personal expectations.  There is nothing wrong with having expectations—the burnout comes when one is emotionally attached to having those expectations manifest in some reasonable facsimile to what one would like to happen.

Not that I think of myself as any sort of elder in the community, but I do see myself as “seasoned”….not anyone new to the Vampire Community, with some measure of time and experience in the Vampire and metaphysical communities.  I came in to the community, not wanting or needing to confirm any identification with the mythical Vampire image.  I had my own spiritual and psychic experience, up to that point that I entered….and fell in with others who shared similar experiences.  These others were gathering under the label of “psychic vampires” and “vampires”.

If we had gathered under one of the umbrellas of the psychic community, some group category like “clairvoyants” or “empaths”–that would have been completely fine with me.  For whatever reason, I found myself interacting with individuals who had comparable realities and who offered me information which made my navigation through my personal world much easier.

Here’s where the positive benefits gets mixed in with the negative–just as any group is not going to only have those who are blessings to our lives, there are also individuals who bring in interactions which are not as productive or beneficial.  We fall into these interactions to the degree which we have the same negative issues or can entertain these issues.  Some of them are not completely bad, but they can sometimes be as simple as distracting us from more positive activities.  Non-productive or wastes of time.

I have come to my own way of understanding my personal experience.  This includes my perception of what I understand as my mental, emotional and spiritual events.  Maybe to some degree, I am using what I think of as “real” to me as the gauge to what I can relate to in others.  Because I constantly evaluate whether my perception is based on accurate observation or wishful thinking, whether my observation is on my subjective experience or objective reality….I expected that all other members of the Vampire Community did the same.  It might have been unfair of me to assume that all members of the Community had the same level of metaphysical leanings, and therefore the same way of working with information.

What seems to be a common trend in many online Vampire groups is the preoccupation with the imagery of the Fictional Vampire.  This includes flooding groups with dark artwork and some role playing.  On one hand, I want to respect everyone’s desire to share whatever information/art that they want.  On the other hand, one part of my brain feels like I was introduced into the Vampire Community under the precept of meeting with individuals who had similar life experiences.  The other precept was that we gather to enrich each other’s lives with relevant information and to support each other socially, simply because we are alike.

Life is full of grey areas–unwritten, unspoken expectations…vague agreements and understandings.  No guarantees.  How much right do I have to disagree or complain because my expectations on what I wanted to experience in the Vampire Community are not being met to the degree to which I envisioned?  Do I have any right to try to make and keep a space that is accordance with my vision of what I want to experience?

Isn’t that what everyone does, without even thinking about it?

Right now, I am still in a state of transition.  I will see what develops naturally.

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A Personal Note On My Personal Experience As A Serious Member of The Vampire Community

To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure if I’m currently having a breakdown, a breakthrough or this is just a regular, run-of-the-mill anxiety attack.  At any rate, I seem to have hit that wall that I assume that most serious members of the Vampire Community eventually crash into.

I’m burned out.

Given, my time as a conscious, participating member hasn’t been that long.  Let’s just assume that my involvement in the GVC grew naturally out of my time in the general Pagan/Magickal Community…so that my experience with people who belong to fringe groups has been a continuous series of interactions.

I’m thinking of this as an adjustment period.  I am accepting and getting used to particular working conclusions about what I can expect out of the General Vampire Community…and therefore, with what I will feel comfortable with contributing.

I identify as an Energy Vampire, a Psychic Vampire and/or an Eros Vampire, depending on the situation in which I share this information.  Whenever I use any of these terms, it is at the beginning of a longer dialog.  These labels are shorthand introductions which I explain in fuller detail, for the purposes of a deeper or longer conversation.  I don’t use these terms to get a reaction or for shock value.  I am way beyond thinking that these terms impress people, except when used in role play.

I use these terms because they seem to be the best to use, at the moment.  As they are generally defined in the Community, they encapsulate the experience of those of us who have a particular reality–a subjective experience, a perception, a way of dealing with our internal and external worlds.  From the outside, some people consider energy vampirism a sort of religion….to me, it is more of a philosophy to describe our particular life experience, as we understand it.

That being said, I share my personal experience to be helpful to those in the world who have a similar perception of their experience in this reality.  My secondary intention is to be helpful to those who do not necessarily relate to the same experiences, but get something positive out of sharing any of my information or perspective.

Here is where my ego is becoming frustrated–I perceive so many people who do not necessarily believe that they are having the same internal experience as an energy vampire; but are much more caught up in wanting other people to perceive that they are something special, glamorous, frightening or unique.  I completely accept that this is my problem–that I am reacting to others…that on some level, what they think matters to me.

From what I see and how I interpret it, there are not many magickal, metaphysical or spiritual people.  Many people dip into the waters for occasional or superficial references–but, as far as people who live through the constant reference system….those people are few and far between.

If this is the way it is, I will eventually readjust and accept that.  What seems to be misleading for most of us is that some of us become accustomed to the idea that people are religious or spiritual, because of what they tell us.  As far as living like a spiritual being, some of us are not so constant in our reference points.

 

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