How To Get Your Needs Met In The Vampire Community

Welcome to the Vampire Community.
Please excuse the mess. We are currently under the process of reconstruction….uh, renovations…uhm, no, no…some areas are being reconstructed, but then we have some wonderful sitting areas that are just fine. Have you seen our libraries? We have a variety of libraries to choose from. Some even serve alcohol.
To make your stay in the Vampire Community as productive and pleasant as possible, we recommend that you spend a few minutes deciding on what it is that you need and want from the Community, at large. No need to be shy. The only right answer is the honest one.  The more clear you are about which areas you need to be educated in, the quicker you can be directed to the appropriate sources. 
Regardless of how the Modern Vampire Community started…regardless of how mythology defines what a “real vampire” is…regardless of how society understands or misunderstands us….we find ourselves drawn the umbrella group of the GVC, under the various ways of what Vampires, Modern Living Vampires and Real Living Vampires are currently defined as.
We find ourselves gathered on one common ground. The most productive way to spend our time as a group is to respect our various needs and fulfill them to the best of our abilities in ourselves and the newer members that enter our Community. That being said, being perfectly honest about one’s needs comes under the assumption that one has the ability to know, understand and accept what one’s real needs are….and to separate those real needs from one’s wishes and desires.
In this case, the possible problems are that not everyone has the ability to know what is their real needs are….how to communicate them properly to others…and that the other members will accept their communication of those needs, at face value.  Keeping this in mind might help the newcomer take care to express their needs more clearly and to not take any disagreement so personally.
Another mistake that many people make is that they assume that everyone else has the insight and the emotional clarity to understand their own internal psychological processes. Along with this is the additional mistake that some people assume that everyone is respectful of other people’s interpretations of their needs and experience.  Do not assume that EVERY member of the GVC is self-aware, accepting of other’s experience, an expert in any or all fields, or even necessarily helpful.  Allow each person to reveal their best qualities, while not holding it against them that they are still human, with possible human shortcomings. 
The GVC is more of a jungle–OVC and in-person VC, alike. We have our pockets and islands of civilization, but not every area is friendly and cooperative. (This just sounds like the rest of the world to me.) I don’t recommend developing a “thicker skin” to any newcomer.  Either you have one or you don’t. People who try to fake having a thicker skin, when they have actually have a “thin” one….are those sensitive types who are going to pretend that they are not reacting to every little stimulus–when they are actually overreacting internally, until they finally explode (or implode).
If other people’s words trigger your internal reactions, the best thing that you can do is explore which INTERNAL associations you have with those words and concepts and how they are linked to EARLIER events and memories, in your personal history. Strong emotional reactions might be linked to pre-existing mental and emotional thought processes….the associations between current words, images and events and what they remind you of in your personal history.
Kind and helpful people are where you find them. There is a mix of intense personalities in the GVC. Some are cooperative. Some are hostile. Just like the mix of people in the world outside of the GVC. If you don’t find what you need in a particular group–online or in-person–separate yourself from those people and keep looking. On the flipside to that, keep in mind that most of us in the Vampire Community are not being paid to interact with others, so any time/attention/information that is being shared is based on the generosity of those members sharing. Be gracious and appreciative for anything that another member of the GVC shares with you.
And finally, be aware of your personal need for feeling special.  We are navigating through life, together. Give up the need to try to make others validate you or make you feel special. Regardless of what some of us make it look like, this is not the contest to find the next Dracula.  Stop competing.  Stop posing.  Stop flexing–hoping that someone will recognize your amazing powers, that you are descended from vampire royalty, that you’re an old soul, that you’re on a mission from Lilith.  We are all equal as feeders, although we might have different dietary needs. If there is a subconscious, unconscious, unspoken need to feel special….keep in mind, that there are probably PLENTY of other members of the GVC who are at the same level of emotional need to feel the same thing. I won’t tell someone to give up the need to FEEL special–feeling special is completely and more directly fulfilled through private, internal methods.  Feeling special through the validation of others only fulfills one, temporarily.
We have plenty of members in the GVC; but keep in mind that true Elders, Teachers and Leaders are few and far between.  Just because one runs a group, a House or sets themselves up in any position with any title does not mean that they have anything of substance to offer.  As a newcomer, be courteous and respectful….if only because you are entering their territory….and allow each teacher to show you what they have to offer.  If you need to take your leave from them, do it with grace and dignity.  What you need might not all be found in one place, but rather stitched together from different places.