Awakening–Identity, Conviction, False Assumptions, Big Expectations and Other Hooplah

I came across someone talking about Awakening, the other day.  This was specifically in an Otherkin group; but I have seen this happen in Vampire groups, as well.  Some of us are Vampiric, because we are Otherkin…and, a lot of us just tend to hang out in each other’s communities.  We do share a few common terms and experiences–one of the bigger ones being “Awakening”.

Awakening itself is a general concept.  Recently, someone asked for help in “Awakening completely”….to which someone else replied that no one can make Awakening happen any faster, it is just something that happens on its own.

To my understanding, an Awakening refers to the self awareness of one’s true nature.  This means, that one was not intellectually aware of what one was/is before, because one has been told or led to believe that they are something different.

In my western world, my corner of which is heavily Christian and Catholic, we are generally taught that we are physically human with human souls.  In our standard mythology, we are not angels or demons, divine in any way….we have human souls.  In our standard western mythology, we are not taught that we have had any previous incarnation as any animal, mineral, plant….we are not taught that we have had our consciousness in any other form than what we are experiencing right now as humans.  We are not presented with the possibility that we could have had any non-human experience as any other being in any other dimension or planet.  In our Christian mythology, we are told that we have one human lifetime and we exist only as human souls.

Personally, I don’t believe in every metaphysical theory or concept that I am presented with….but, I acknowledge that there is as much collective evidence to verify the Christian metaphysical theories as there is to justify other metaphysical theories  that exist outside of the Christian modality.  In short, I see no reason to invalidate one’s personal experience and interpretation of that internal experience, as long as it does not interfere with one’s ability to lead a productive, healthy, happy life.

In my personal timeline, my Awakening was more of an intellectual acceptance of a particular description of being and the embrace of the general concepts of the Vampire Community.  My particular version of Awakening was coming to terms that the description of a Modern Living Vampire applied to me and my life.  However, there are so many different interpretations of what Awakening is.

To my understanding, Awakening is the process of realization of one’s nature.  It is a natural and organic process that unfolds over long-term contemplation.  When I read that someone wanted help in their Awakening process, I could not help but think that maybe it wasn’t really Awakening that they were looking for.

There seems to be more people within the Kin/Vampire Communities who misidentify because, on some level, they perceive benefits to being Kin/Vamp, even if they are not.

Some people want to believe that they are Kin/Vampire because they think that they will have “special powers” if they are–or that they will be taught how to use those “special powers”, if the Community is fooled into thinking that they are.  This is delusional thinking at worst, role playing at best.  Actual Modern Living Vampires recognize that there are natural benefits to feeding and health limitations when they do not feed.  Actual Otherkin/Therians understand that they are non-human souls housed in human bodies….and not human souls in a human body, as western/Christian teachings have instructed them.  These sets of realizations are used to make the Modern Vamp/Kin more functional in their day-to-day life.  We have our internal understanding and, depending on our individual perception of metaphysical/non-material reality, observe whichever paranormal activities are actually real and occurring in our lives.

As far as our personal information, this is the basic understanding of what we are.  Our self-identification, as far as we understand the concept individually.  I personally do not put too much stock in worldly self-identification–at least, not the degree to which other people seem to defend it.  However, there are some people who function much better when they have strong convictions in who they define themselves as, what they self-identify as…their Kin and their type.

Ideally, self-identification should help a person navigate more smoothly through their life, more elegantly through their day.  Knowledge empowers.  Information prepares.  Improper use of information, negative use of information creates more discord.  To falsely or incorrectly self-identify holds no permanent benefits and puts one in the middle of their own fantasy, which will eventually ostracize them from everyone.

Our measurement for the validity or accuracy of metaphysical, non-material information is our intuition and psychic sensing.  We might be able to observe physical manifestations of these concepts and sometimes analyze the correspondence between the two through our intellect.  Not everyone has the same abilities to psychically sense, observe and analyze information perfectly.  Some of us are better than others.  Some of us develop our senses over diligent practice and correct training.

Within every spiritual system, religion and metaphysical group–there are plenty of people who do not have the objectivity and insight to accurately assess information beyond the physical senses.  While I do believe that there are some very real non-human souls in human bodies (Otherkin), I suspect that there are quite a few more people who are trying to make themselves fit the description of a “non human” for secondary (and usually, imaginary) benefits.  As a modern shaman and mage, I can see where using an archetype or thoughtform (as a Role Model or through Godform Assumption) can be very helpful.  Even if all signs point to someone being very much human-souled, magickally-(mentally-) identifying as a non-human entity can be incredibly beneficial…but, only as an internal working, kept private and to one’s self.

The only criteria for Modeling/Assumption (as an Animal Spirit or Fictional Being) is that the magician be completely honest with themselves and not try to pass themselves off TO OTHERS as something that they are not.  Passing yourself off falsely always catches up with you and ostracizes you from any and all groups, once the truth comes out.

Part of unraveling whether one is truly Kin/Vamp or not is also mentally entertaining the possibility that one is not.  Going over the possible reasons why one might NOT be Kin/Vamp includes looking over the desired benefits of identifying as one.  Does “realizing” one is Kin mean that there is now access to “powers” or abilities that one can’t possess if one is not Kin?  Any and all humans can practice sorcery, energy manipulation and the psychic arts.  All of our paranormal and meta-human experiences fall under those umbrella categories.  Actual Kin/Vamps can only display psychic or magickal feats within the normal  range of any other human which has put in a large amount of time studying and practicing.  The range of possibility for magickal or psychic expression is the same for human-souled humans and non-human-souled humans.  Kin/Vamps cannot express anything beyond which any other human can.

To address some normally unspoken myths about being a Kin or Vamp–we cannot mentally control others, get away with stealing, get away with physically bullying or intimidating others, impress others in an extremely unnatural way (glamour)–in short, we cannot break any laws of the land or laws of physics.  This might be a total guess on my part, but from what little clues I get from people who are delusional or role players….I have to assume that they are assuming that Fictional behavior (scifi physical shifting and other movie powers) are real-life experiences of established or long-identified Kin.

Awakening is the mental/emotional process of understanding what you are on a soul or energetic body level.  It is understanding how your energy works or how you express yourself on a non-physical level, so that you can work with those expressions in a way which make you more emotionally comfortable and possibly more expanded on those spiritual levels.

Insisting that you are something that you might not be is NOT a magickal way to confer special powers onto yourself.  This is the same line of thinking that has people searching for those “magic words” or special formulary that instantly transmutes physical reality, in some way.  Either that is sometimes the underlying thought process or some non-Kin/non-Vamps seem to be convinced that established members of the Communities have some special (or again, magickal) secrets that we only give out to Kindred.

There really is no way to Awaken someone who is non-Kin.

A human soul is a human soul, but can still master the metaphysical arts.

Another misperception about Awakening is that it will somehow make you feel instantly empowered.  With that most recent post, I somehow got the impression that when the poster was asking for help in Awakening, they were actually asking for help in the emotional arena–perhaps feeling centered, strong or settled.  Reading between the lines, it seems that many people who come into the Kin Communities are trying to fill in emotional gaps and needs that have nothing to do with being other-souled, but are very much connected to having the emotional body that comes with a physical human form.

As part of smoothing the Awakening/Questioning process along, I suggest exploring the possibility that you are not Kin and coming up with reasons why you might want to falsely identify as such.  What do you really want or expect out of discovering that you are Kin/Vamp?  What are all the other ways of fulfilling those needs?  If you are really not Kin/Vamp, what can you get out of substitute activities in Magick, Sorcery, Psionics, Psychicism, Energy Work?

Looking into workable alternatives will save you a lot of time and energy, rather than chasing after delusions and burning a lot of bridges with valuable people that could be good resources of information and inspiration.  Many powerful magicians, psychics and metaphysicians were born human and worked for their achievements.

Rear view of a young man waking up in bed and stretching his arm

Models of Reality, Framework of Reference…Logic and Emotion In the Vampire Community

I classify myself as an Energy Vampire, Psychic Vampire, Spiritual Vampire or Eros Vampire, depending on who I’m talking to.  Also, because I live within a Spanish-speaking subculture, I have also referred to myself as a “Vampiro”–still depending on context.

Which classification I use depends on the aspect that I am emphasizing, which itself depends on my intention for discussing the topic.  It is not that I am trying to reinforce an identity.  It is more that I am discussing or explaining particular metaphysical topics.  I don’t wave the Vampire flag, but I do bring it up when it is relevant to a conversation on metaphysical themes.  But, this is just my experience.

When I came into the GVC, there was already existing conflict between members of the community.  Members constantly complaining about the definition of a real Vampire, who has the right to classify themselves as Vampires, why certain members shouldn’t be considered Vampires….and on and on and on.  This is the only version of the GVC that I know.  People argue.

But, within the argument, there are gems of wisdom in the various opinions.  I don’t agree with what everyone says.  There are some topics, angles and schools of thought that I adore.  Likewise, there are other topics, angles and schools of thought that I couldn’t care less about….mostly because they don’t seem to contribute anything to the real-day, real-time personal growth of Modern Vampires.

As far as my personal experience with Psychic Vampirism, here’s my story in a nutshell–I didn’t grow up with the need to identify with the image of the Fictional Vampire…not any more than I daydreamed about being a powerful Witch, a shapeshifter, an alien-human hybrid, a mutant or a misplaced changeling/Fairy/fey.  But, to my understanding, I was born human–I identified as being human.  I am human.  I was aware that I had had psychic and paranormal experiences.  Standard religion didn’t make sense to me, so magick and metaphysics filled in the spaces that straight materialist thinking couldn’t explain for me.

My exploration of energy-based healing systems led me to focus on understanding my world in terms of chakras and energy bodies.  While there was some improvement in my general health, some issues seemed a bit beyond immediate healing.  It was from my base in metaphysics that the concepts of Psychic Vampirism made sense to me–living from the perspective of being a psychic vampire made room for some improvements in my life.

I am primarily part of the GVC because I want to exchange relevant information on vampirism.

I understand the need for people to feel that they are part of a community.  There are a variety of reasons to want to feel that they are included as part of a larger group.  There is validation and the sense of safety that most people cannot feel on their own.  Within the Vampire Community, we each have our own agendas–some of which are consciously held–someone can ask us what we want to accomplish in the GVC and we can answer directly.  On the other hand, we have quite a few members of the Community who simply do not have enough self-awareness to be able to answer that honestly and directly.  They don’t necessarily know what they want–they are just acting instinctively to get their needs met.

This is the nature of the Beast.  (The Beast being humanity, with its very human personality.)  Maybe, I’ve become more cynical about the general state of consciousness that I see most people express.  Maybe I see so many examples of lack of self-awareness because of some bias or prejudice on my part.  Or, it could be, that as I strive to become more self-aware, I am simply noticing the particular state that has always existed for the general populace.

Not everyone strives to become self-aware.  Not everyone strives to become spiritually aware.  Not everyone wants to consciously evolve.

I have become increasingly disillusioned with the ideal of a peaceful, harmonious community.  Not only in the GVC….just anywhere that humans are involved.  Vampires are only another kind of human.  There are amazing individuals within the community–fantastic mentors, leaders and role models.  Likewise, some younger members, newer members….energy feeders, blood feeders, swans, otherkin and allies are also amazing and inspiring.

In the few years that I’ve been a part of the GVC, I’ve come to realize that even though some of these people have some things in common with me, not everyone will get along….because Vampires are still people and people do not like to get along.  Defense of one’s personal beliefs are way more important to some people than believing what it most logical, more correct, most humanitarian or most spiritual.

From the metaphysicians point of view, unless someone is on a conscious pathway of working to spiritually awaken….meaning to completely RE-self-identify  with the qualities and essences of Spirit….they are still subject to the limitations of their humanhood.  And when you are subject to the limitations of the human personality, all communication is filtered through those limitations of the human personality.  There are power struggles, expressed as need for disagreement and the need to be non-cooperative.

I’ve watched many disagreements disguised as the need to “educate” and push a personal or group agenda.  These arguments often reduce down to attacks on intellect or even more personal details.  If the desire is to change someone’s mind toward your ways of thinking, then persuasion and constructive explanation is the LOGICAL way to go.  However, this will only work for those people who are non-emotional in those particular areas of discussion.  As soon as anyone has an emotional investment in an idea–or the root belief which upholds that investment in  that particular idea–they are not completely logic-based and the “discussion” is only an excuse to argue.

To really change someone’s mind, we need to take into account that each person has reasons for their beliefs.  Not everyone is going to embrace an idea because it is logical or scientific.  Some beliefs are held because there is a fear that needs to be supported.  Some beliefs are held because they were accepted at some point as truth.  The complexities of the human psyche do not necessarily allow for the quick change of beliefs.  Emotional investment keeps beliefs in place, regardless of how logical or how much scientific/material evidence there is to support a change in that belief.