Way before I entered the Global Vampire Community, Tambra had already told me about her dealings of the Vampires of the bay area Nightclub scene. She dealt with predatory energy feeders, from left hand paths that did not ask for permission before feeding. I was already aware of this….her stories helped me shape my previous concept that I could not possibly be one of these creatures. They were unscrupulous, negative energy workers. I was not.
When she and I get deep into our visits, our conversations take on the organization reflecting the chaos magicians that we are–we throw out our topics, take turns playing the devil’s advocate, propose hypothetical situations and just fire away, playfully trying to outdo the other. Every question that came up was completely fair–many of them reflected the working philosophies of the magickal frameworks that we both came from.
On some concepts, I didn’t have any clear-cut answer in our discussion. Just as with any of our life pathways, I had adjusted my course on the way…I might have had very clear intentions on my spiritual directions at some points; but reality happens….during our conversation, I found myself mentally backtracking my life. How did I get to here from there….WAY over there?
One of the interesting questions Tambra brought up–in the effort to understand my current identification as a Psychic Vampire–was: Being as spiritual workers can tap into any sort of energy available, why would a Psychic Vampire want to tap into another human’s energy, at all? Humans are such low-vibration compared to the gods or other higher-level sources.
Some of these answers I thought of on the spot….some, I’ve had time to ponder since our conversation. Before I ever consciously opened up to another human’s energy, I had opened up to more Divine vibrations. I’ve channeled and assumed the godforms of particular historical deities and archetypal Deities. I’ve channeled and nourished myself consciously with elemental and planetary energies….the essences and higher concepts, such as Universal Love and Joy. I’ve done that as part of my spiritual pathway. One of the first things I learned in basic witchcraft was to become The Tree….and deep feed from the Earth and the Sun. This exercise made an incredible difference. My level of vitality improved…along with my outlook. The general health issues I had were lessened–allergies, asthma, headaches, stomach disorder. Compared to how I felt before, my health was much better….but, I still wasn’t exactly healthy.
As I embraced the religion of The Goddess, I continued with my spiritual practices. Eventually, my practices of channeling energy led to me working with the various healing modalities. I could tell the difference when I would go without pulling in energy or prana from the various natural and extraterrestrial (solar, stellar) sources. I knew that I benefited from nourishing myself from these other resources of energy. In my understanding, every human being would benefit from taking nourishment from these energy resources. This was normal in our spiritual circles.
From my regular practice of channeling energy, my desire to improve my own health, and my desire to help others in my position…I naturally became drawn to healing others. My fellow practitioners practiced on me, as well. I’ve always liked to be the recipient of healing work. I noticed how well I responded when other people gave me energy. I didn’t think too much about it, since I figured it was all balanced out in the end. I took…but I always made sure to give out to others, more than what I ever received. That was natural for me.
One unusual compliment that people gave me was that I tended to absorb their negative energy. It was completely unintentional. It just sort of happened…so, I assumed that it was my automatic (and instinctive) way of trying to heal them. It wasn’t always pleasant, but I was helping people….so I didn’t try to stop the process.
By the time, I became acquainted with other self-aware (spiritually-oriented) Psychic Vampires, I had been channeling Divine and other higher natural energies for a while. I did notice that when others gave me energy, it felt better than when I channeled it on my own. I just assumed that either those individuals were better healers than I was….or that it seemed easier because I was merely receiving and not putting any effort into moving it, myself.
I met other Psychic Vampires through pagan and magickal groups. These were individuals that I could already relate to as fellow magick and energy workers. When they explained that I had many of the traits of an energy feeder, using the terminology that I could relate to, I tried their suggestions of ambient feeding to see what kind of response my energy system had to it.
I had some degree of self awareness from all of my experience within therapy and healing work. There was such a noticeable difference when I fed on human psy energy. It felt nourishing in the same way as a good energy healing session. I didn’t jump right into to self-identifying as a Psychic Vampire, myself. Like any good chaos magician, I became open to exploring the possibility. That meant that I would research the information as best as I could, experiment, question other possible explanations and pay attention.
There are still many magickal pathways and healing modalities that completely dismiss the philosophy of psychic vampirism as invalid, selfish or negative. To be fair, there are some negative, unethical Psychic Vampires….just as there are negative, unethical energy workers and magicians. When Tambra and I discussed Energy Vampires, it was completely fair that she brought up the concept that feeding on human psy energy would be inferior to sources of a higher vibration. That’s what we had been taught in many of our modalities.
Using my own history and experience as a reference point, I can make my best guesses as to why it benefits me to feed on human psy/vital energy. I wouldn’t claim that I know these reasons to be facts in the absolute sense. Anything of a spiritual, energetic, non-physical reality cannot be substantiated or measured, as of yet….however, I have had many spiritual and psychic experiences that I couldn’t explain away. Maybe I don’t have any instruments to measure and validate these non-physical experiences and realities, but I am part of that amorphous group of people who relate to the non-physical levels of life in some way. To dismiss the spiritual/psychic level completely doesn’t work for me….but admittedly, my understanding/relation to this level is working and fluid.
As I’ve mentioned before, my spirituality is based on union with Divine Spirit and full awareness of that Oneness. Given, my human personality also feels inclined to perform acts of magick and psychic sensing. There are some things that I do as a human in order to nourish and placate my lower bodies–physical, emotional and mental. On the level of the physical, some metaphysicians argue that certain foods lend to more of a spiritual vibration than others….some traditions or pathways encourage or dictate a purely vegetarian diet. I recall a pranic healing master dictate to some of his students to eat chicken because their energy was becoming too fine and they had trouble navigating the physical world because of the difference in energy vibration.
Hypothetically, Psychic Vampires are humans who require a different intake of energy-based nourishment than other humans. We are not separate from the human race, but more of a particular type of human sprinkled in….in all races, in all regions. In spirituality, energy work and magick–magicians deal with practical information born out of experimentation and observation. Especially in chaos magick, we take on theories and work them to see how valuable they are within our lives as magickally-conscious people.
I have oriented myself to take in energy and vibrations of a higher nature. That is my practice as a spiritually-conscious practitioner. However, once I fed on human psy/vital energy, it made such a difference to my health that I knew that there was something to it. My current working theory is that some of us are born energy feeders in the same way that some of us are incarnated as being spiritually-oriented. In my particular case, if I were not oriented to consuming human psy/vital energy, I would probably be even less social than I am right now. I interact more with people because I feel the need to access ambient energy and to possibly interact with willing donors.
It might also be a possibility that for some of us that are very spiritually-oriented, we incarnated with an energy system that needs human psy/vital energy because it keeps us grounded to humanity and the physical realm. I remember stories of advanced yogis that had very human addictions–I believe I remember chocolate, in one case. The idea is that without a human addiction, the yogi would become too pure for this plane and ascend. The downside in spiritual terms?–their wisdom would be unavailable to the rest of humanity.
I wouldn’t claim that I had the definitive answer on why born Psychic Vampires need to feed on human-oriented energy. I do acknowledge that there are predatory feeders who do feed on other human energy fields…but there also seem to be humans that suffer a detriment when they do not feed on human vital/psy energy and gain a noticeable health benefit when they do. The latter group is what I think of as Modern Psychic Vampires. This felt like the start of a longer exploration….but, I feel like it’s something to think about.
There was a lot more information that Tambra and I discussed in our weekend sleepover. That is for other articles.