Even though we talk about blood consumption and most of us are comfortable with adult topics, I still feel a little squeamish talking about or identifying myself as an Eros Vampire. I do not claim to be the authority or the spokesperson for all Eros Vampires. I have only been musing on my interpretation and my experience in my personal arena of my form of vampirism and how I have come to relate to the world through that lens.
To give my background and a context–I’ve self-identified as gay my whole life. I have had self esteem issues, panic and anxiety disorder. I am not new to feeling guilty or ashamed. I’ve been shamed on quite a few topics of behavior, over my lifetime. But, for some reason, sexual vampirism has been one of those subjects that is fairly new…and unexplored territory for me.
I’ve been an incredibly sexual person for as long as I can remember. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I have been a sexually-ORIENTED person for as long as I can remember. I was not molested as a child. I was not exposed to any pornography–besides Playboy, but that wasn’t what I was interested in. I simply remember that I was always interested in the idea of sex with other males, since the time that I was very little. (I didn’t have any actual sex until I was 19, though….but, I blame that on my anxiety disorder and extremely negative self-perception.) I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe it, but I definitely had the desire to share myself with my friends at a young age.
I was not sexually active until I was almost 20. As I just shared, I already had a very negative self-perception, so I felt ashamed about myself in general. I would look for any justification to keep feeling ashamed and guilty. However, I was very aware that people looked down on others who were too sexually promiscuous….let alone somehow violating the constructs of married life by cheating on their spouse….and much less, engaging in any homosexual activity.
I was also aware of the double standard….and its loopholes. Heterosexual men often had multiple lovers or were serial monogamists. Women were not allowed nearly the same frequency of changing partners or they were criticized. Although perception can vary, depending on subculture, I grew up being aware that although homosexuality was frowned upon by some….when viewed through the heteronormative framework, I was judged much the same as a heterosexual woman. I was expected to appear sexless or at least in a monogamous relationship–that wasn’t seen “as bad” as being promiscuous.
Even when heterosexual males are found to have extra-marital affairs, there might be criticism….but, more often than not, it is accepted on some level as relatively normal behavior in a heterosexual male. There is a higher frequency or higher level of dismissal when a heterosexual male changes lovers or has multiple lovers at the same time. The higher intensity of criticism occurs when it becomes personal to the party who is commenting on that male’s behavior–his primary partner or someone who is connected to that primary partner….or someone who relates to being in the position of the primary partner that is being cheated on.
My first encounter with cheating partners was being aware that my father cheated on my mother with extramarital partners. I remember her being incredibly hurt, because she incorrectly took it as a reflection of her self worth. There was so much drama involved….so much emotion. Because my mother was hurt, I decided that cheating was wrong, under any circumstances. Since then, I’ve had relationships where I had been cheated on. Also, I’ve been left for other partners. One of the biggest personal turnarounds for me was with one of my more recent boyfriends. We had been friends for years before beginning a romantic relationship. After one of his heterosexual relationships ended, he began a romantic relationship with me. We were comfortably happy, until the night he approached me with the idea that he wanted to start a relationship with another woman while he continued to date me.
At first, I was upset…offended…insulted. But, after he had a long talk with me….including bringing up that within the length of our friendship, I had never objected to him having a girlfriend before….he assured me that nothing was going to affect our current relationship. He was genuinely confused, because to him, he was being respectful by not hiding anything behind my back. I thanked him for his honesty and, like adults, we negotiated the terms involving his secondary relationship.
I had a strong reaction when my then-boyfriend brought up that he wanted to pursue a secondary relationship. I had a strong emotional response, but was very aware of my ongoing thought process.
Not only have I been in relationships with married or otherwise-involved men, but I’ve also observed various people, heard gossip and confessions of those who have been in multiple relationships at the same time. We call it “cheating” when someone is hiding their secondary relationships (or trysts), engaging in them without express permission or acknowledgement. Safety being a given (no pregnancy or STIs), it might be more realistic to acknowledge that many people engage in extramarital affairs….so why are we so surprised and opposed to it?
My preference has always been to be in a monogamous relationship. My reasons for being in one have changed over time, as I have changed. The more that I grow and become more emotionally self-reliant, self-validating, self-loving and self-fulfilling….the less that I need to look to others to fill me. The less that I am waiting for others to perform particular actions, to say particular words for me to justify feeling good about myself. The more that I make myself happy, the less that I hold other people responsible for my happiness. I don’t hold anything against others nearly as much as I used to….I have become more harmless because I am not trying to get something from other people. And as I become more harmless, I am more gentle and kind to others.
Where I am at now is in complete contrast to where I used to be in relationship to others. Now, I experience sex through the eyes of an Eros Vampire. I can ambient feed. I can feed from a Donor’s aura. But, as good as that can be, nothing compares to Eros feeding.
My main emotional relationships are with my siblings, my father and my pets. I do not seek emotional fulfillment in a romantic relationship. My sense of happiness and love come from my relationship with the Divine, the Universe. I fulfill myself directly from the Source. I also do not require to process my feelings against another person–I explore my feelings in meditation and internal journeying. I can be friends with my energetic donors. I can even enjoy having a boyfriend. But, as an Eros Vampire, the most important part of the sexual relationship is the feeding that comes from the sexual interaction, itself.
As an energy vampire, I perceive the sexual act as more of a donation of the type of prana that my system finds most nourishing. I feed on the energies being generated by my partner, in the sex act. As an Eros Vampire, that’s all that I really need from my partner/s. It is not so much a pleasurable activity or means to an end as far as further or deeper involvement with a lover. Because I do not require anything else from a partner, I can respect their needs to return to the rest of their day/night/life outside of the moment of our interaction.
Before I became so independently whole and self-validated, I was extremely clingy and NEEDED someone else to fulfill me. Because I was so negative, I was constantly finding upset in my relationships. Those of us who are emotionally dependent on a lover cannot stand the idea that that lover will be with anyone else….and when we are so emotionally charged with that idea, we tend to find ourselves in situations with lovers who are constantly leaving us for others.
Emotionally dependent people are often full of negative perception. They have a hole inside of them that is never filled by anyone else, although there is a constant (and impossible) demand to have their partner fill them. Sometimes, these emotionally dependent partners are also financially dependent, as well. When their lovers cheat on them, not only is it interpreted as a statement of rejection, but also a threat to being taken care of. Their physical survival is in jeopardy.
Personally, I like monogamous relationships. I like the idea of having a good friendship with a lover or partner. However, as an Eros Vampire, I need to feed. I no longer have the human ideal of romantic partnership. I have not found it in other human beings. I feel Love flowing out from my heart where The Divine lives. I survive without needing a marriage partner. I am learning to love other beings without needing them to behave in a particular way or say particular words for me to justify feeling like I am loved back. As an Eros Vampire, sex is practical. Through reflection, meditation and self-analysis–I have come to unravel what is energy feeding from emotional issues. My emotional wholeness is mine to uphold. Energy feeding is a gift from another being–I am grateful, but no one ever owes me anything more than what they generously give me.
Because I do not need my partners to marry me (although, it would be nice), I can find what I need in friendships with benefits….and sometimes that includes partners in other relationships, married or with girlfriends. I am not trying to pull anyone away from whatever they choose to experience in or as their primary relationships. So many men (people) function by living with their primary partner and having secondary relationships, wherever they can fit them. If there is any chaos or drama that comes from an affair coming to surface, it is guaranteed that there was drama and chaos already running through the rest of the relationship.
The most hostility to those who live freely and openly comes from those people who feel threatened and insecure about their own lives….those emotionally dependent people who think that they can only keep fulfilled if they dig their nails into their partners. These emotionally dependent people find threats in those that are personally liberated. Those sluts that they fear can take their partners away. This is open for debate, but I would venture to guess that partners stay in primary relationships because there are elements which make them comfortable. A household, children, family life, socially acceptable structures that appeal to them. Rather than finding the secondary lovers a threat….it would serve better for those primary partners to make the nest more attractive or become more emotionally independent, if they wanted to make their partner want to stay.
When Eros Vampires are being realistic and respectful of someone else’s primary relationships (married life), there is no reason why we can’t feed as much as we need to and still leave our Donors’ main lives intact. As sacred concubines, we can honor their energy donations by being the outlet for the stress that they can’t express in their home lives. We can consciously be that supplement that they are unconsciously asking for by being counselor, therapist, masseuse and stress relief so that our Donors can find what they are missing….and go back to their homes, fulfilled, healed and happier.
Before I embraced the terminology of the Vampire Community, back when the Pagan/Magickal community was the only group I was a member of….I didn’t react too strongly to the mention of Psychic Attack. Once I had a grasp of the technical working aspects of magick, my response was something like….”Well….do something about it.”
If a magician or energy-worker hears about energy workings….and psychic attacks are just energy workings of a sort….then, they can shield, divert or convert the type of energy–just to mention a few options. If the magick or energy-worker is not effective or claims that they don’t know how to do so, then they can practice making stronger shields, energetic deflectors or moving the energy from one place to another. If they do not seek to improve and strengthen their skills, then they will never become an effective energy worker.
Psychic Vampires have filters that we can use. We have the ability to manipulate energy–and we become better at doing so, with practice. My reaction when a Psychic Vampire complains that they are being psychically attacked: “Well….eat it.”
We dance within the borders between Energy Feeders and Magicians. If we cannot eat all of the energy of the incoming attack, we can bundle up the extra energy (and store it), use it for another purpose, send it to another area (perhaps slow it down and make it available for consumption by other psychic vampires)….or a variety of other possibilities. Psychic Vampires move within the realms of non-physical energy. There is simply no reason to complain about an incoming attack. We eat that energy. By the time that we become conscious and sensitive to the movements of energy, we at least have some grasp of how to work with it. If you are not capable of working with a large amount of energy, break it down or clean it up….act and treat it as an opportunity to practice and strengthen your abilities.
I don’t think of myself as a leader. I don’t think of myself as holding any position of authority, for the most part. I post articles online. I think of myself as mostly a writer. I open and help admin groups on Facebook. I haven’t had any experience lately teaching in-person workshops….but, I do still help run bi-annual community events.
I wouldn’t say I was any sort of leader. If I were hard-pressed to describe what I do, I would say that I am more of a consultant of sorts, a facilitator at most. That being said, I do know quite a few leaders in the VC/OVC. I am not referring to the members who run groups (online or offline) or even teachers. It takes very little to declare that one is opening an online group or forum….or an in-person House. It also doesn’t take much to run a workshop or series of classes. I’ve watched many people do both and they are still certainly not “leaders”.
In terms of the Community, what is anyone “leading” us to….or “leading” us away from? There are many members who are not in any position of authority (or less so, when compared to the more vocal members of the VC), who are fantastic role models, and sources of inspiration and information. They are leading us out of ignorance and the mass chaos of our in-fighting….and leading us towards personal enlightenment, an open access of necessary practical information and more peaceful interaction between members of the various Vampire subgroups. These Leaders may or may not also head online or offline groups. (We could use the terms “Elder” or “Teacher” interchangeably when we address or refer to these figures.)
There are some very sincere members of the VC, who want to be helpful and make a better world (as they interpret the concept) for other Vampires. The glitch in this plan is that, being as we work with our various personalities, we have as many interpretations for this vision as we have these helpful Vampires. That makes it complicated enough. Add to this mix, all of the VC members who have their own personal agendas to push. Regardless of the types of Vampirism, we have the mix of personalities in the Community….those who are team players have a variety of teams to play on–sometimes the vision of one Leader doesn’t translate over into every other group and subgroup in the Community. There are also those members who simply enjoy being abrasive or love the chaos of being negative and non-cooperative. There are also the very passive members who lurk and do not participate in our group settings, but increase the group count by simply being members. Even the best-intentioned Leader can get burned out by the adversity or the seeming apathy of the numbers that just do not give any feedback. It is human to want some sort of positive feedback. Some of us need recognition, encouragement or at least some response to know if we are moving in the right direction.
Most encouragement seems to be drowned out by the amount of criticism that comes from the oppositional voices in the VC. Most of the time, Leaders have to hear EVERYTHING….complaints, criticism, whining, constant questions….it is not an easy job for someone trying to contribute positively to the VC. Often, the only payment anyone receives is knowing that they tried to do the right thing (according to their own conscience), that they were being as helpful as they could be to their fellow members.
Being a Leader is an act of Charity. There is no monetary compensation. As a matter of fact, offline expenses of running events and online expenses (such as, paying for websites) will more than likely come directly out of the Leader’s pocket. Much time that could be spent on other pursuits (such as reading and working on their own writing projects) is put into handling squabbles between members or guiding new members through the same questions that every newcomer seems to come up against. There is often verbal abuse from their “peers” or elder members because they are not handling matters (of any and all sorts) in a way that the critiquing party finds acceptable. “Thankless job” seems to apply, here.
Many “Vampire Kings” and “Vampire Queens”….whether or not they actually use the title….are interested in having numbers on paper–a sizable or growing group count. But, what are they really contributing? No one is required to accomplish anything on a large scale. Sometimes, the most effective way of looking at the VC is that each one of us could try to make our spaces/group spaces to hold as many of those “helpful moments” for the individual member, as often as we can. Not that we will ever have a perfect, drama-free environment. But, that we can have as many good moments, with as many good personal interactions as we possibly can….on a daily basis. And, we can just count those good moments, in spite of all the drama we had to put up with, to make them.
What happens when we don’t catch the Baby Psy Vamps? Within the viewpoint of the metaphysician, we are all spiritual beings….living in a reality of multiple dimensions of energy–etheric, emotional, mental, spiritual… Depending on the model that makes sense to the metaphysical practitioner, we live as multi-level beings SIMULTANEOUSLY on all of these vibrational levels….inhabiting energy bodies that correspond to each of the levels that we are on.
When any human being is lacking in energy in any one of their energy bodies, emotional, mental or even physical illness may occur. During daily life, lack of spiritual energies may manifest in emotional turmoil, mental imbalance and even as physical maladies. The unawakened Psy Vampire (meaning, the Psy Vampire who is not conscious of their need and ability to consciously feed on outside sources of energy) might not stay as nourished and healthy as they could be. An energy-deficient Psy Vampire might seem out of sorts and/or ill in some way. The physical level could manifest general poor health or low energy levels, even if the Psy Vampire is following all of the physical guidelines for healthy living and has no major physical illnesses. On the mental and emotional levels, the Psy Vampire could simply be bothered or be unsettled, even if they are making efforts to feel better through therapy or self-help techniques. Socially, people might find it uncomfortable to be around the hungry Psy Vampire, depending on their own energy levels and conditions.
Psy Vampires vary on their levels of energy needs. Some of us need to take in quite a bit to function. Some of us go into Automatic Feeding mode when our levels are too low. This is akin to Sympathetic Vampirism, where the temporary state of energy-deficiency causes the sufferer to automatically draw in energy from any and all nearby energy sources. A natural-born Psy Vampire will be on permanent need to draw from outside sources. For whichever reason, their state of need never gets “healed”.
For whichever reason–whether the individual Psy Vampire is just built to require a larger amount of energy than they can naturally generate or is somehow leaking energy in their personal energy system–an unaware Psy Vampire is in danger of auto feeding to avoid total starvation. When a Psy Vamp is on auto-feed, there is no distinction or discernment as to where the needed energy is being drawn from. The hungry Vamp may take energy from children, the elderly or otherwise ill persons….none of which probably have excess vital energy to spare. Auto feeding is not so much a danger, if the hungry Vampire is surrounded by people who naturally generate a lot of energy. In these cases, people who generate excess energy might not notice when they are being drawn from…or might actually enjoy the process, if too much energy makes them feel nervous. Likewise, if the auto feed results in someone’s negative energy being removed, especially in the forms of energy blockages, the “victim” is very likely to feel better. This is a gamble, for the most part. In the case of auto feed, it is a matter of chance who the automatically feeding Psy Vampire runs into. The hungry Psy Vampire might be instinctively drawn to people and places that have a lot of ambient energy, but this is not a guarantee.
Drawing vital energy from healthy people (with normal energy levels) can make these victims feel tired, and sometimes irritable. Hungry Psy Vampires might be unpleasant to be around….there is something about the Vamp that is unsettling…..draining, even if no one can put their finger on the actual problem. Regardless of how pleasant a Psy Vampire’s personality might be, it is their automatic energy drain which might not feel so good.
Discovering unawakened Psy Vampires and educating them on controlled feedings….in some cases, supplementing those vital energy feedings, with ambient feedings and feeding on non-human energy sources….will keep them from irritating fellow human beings with those uncontrolled drainings on everyone around them. This “education” could simply take the form of making the relevant information about Psychic Vampires available to the public. A form as simple as basic definition of this type of Vampire might suffice for identification purposes. People might not be able to get past the energy draining to be able to enjoy the person that the Psy Vampire is. And the Psy Vampire might be confused as to why they always feel so tired and no one wants their company.
What is the natural function of a Psychic Vampire? Why are there Psychic Vampires at all? Is there a guiding force which dictated a purpose for us? Why do we even need to ask the question?
If we look for examples in Nature, it might seem that most of the animals are not that concerned with what their purposes are. They simply live. The dogs dog. The cats cat. Birds bird. They eat when they are hungry. They bark/meow/chirp when they are moved to. Depending on circumstance and surrounding–dogs rest, play, poop as they feel inspired to take each action, throughout their day. They do not question their function or place in the grand scheme of the Universe.
Are we supposed to question our particular purpose in The Tapestry of Life? We can. Our minds analyze, dissect, contemplate, guess, imagine and project. Are we supposed to contemplate our significance and meaning as Vampiric creatures? If we follow Nature’s examples in the world, we should just go with the flow. Just live and keep fed. Psychically feed when there is a food source available. Go with our instincts and hungers. But….since we do have the ability and capacity to wax philosophical, we often find ourselves doing so.
Are we overthinking it?
I often wonder if we contemplate our significance in a way that is helpful to us. Is there really a Grand Design or do we just feel the need to imagine we are something greater than animals, because we need to feel superior or meaningful? From the outside, anyone who looks at me might not catch any clues that I am a Psychic Vampire. Without talking to me about any subject, for any reason, I might seem to be a run-of-the-mill kind of guy, nothing too spectacular or out of the ordinary. I don’t make any sort of announcement out of my vampirism.
If we take the viewpoint of everything in Nature simply exists and acts out of its own nature, then it seems that I do that. That is my basic approach. My form is consuming energy when I need to, when it seems yummy, when it’s available. I feed just like every other creature–not just physically, but also on an energy level. And because I have a human personality, I set up my own personal limitations and follow my own set of ethics concerning feeding….because I can. I SOMETIMES wonder if Nature set us up for something grander than just feeding for personal nourishment–to be honest, I see it as all just a bunch of guesswork, on my part. I will not assume that I have God, Nature or The Universe figured out. I have my personal convictions, based on the evidence I’ve personally collected and my thought processes….but, the way that my brain works, I’m not above thinking that I could be mistaken in any area of my working conclusions.
It might not be that I have self-doubt….I think of it as preparing for all perceivable possibilities as best as I can. I don’t think that I need to have an absolute conviction in my understanding of how my Universe works, in order to function fully. I wonder if the world is just as it is….no set of rules, no right or wrong. Maybe we are just here in our perceivable dimensions and there is no ultimate game plan. We live, we express, we eventually leave. (Not that the physical plane is all that there is, but that maybe there is no master plan….we are here in these worlds, until we are done being here.) I sometimes act as if I know my higher purpose as a Psychic Vampire, because I choose to live by the meaning that I give myself. I purposely consume the negative energy in my immediate environments….and I withdraw and consume any negative energy that I perceive in others’ spiritual bodies. It is my purpose, because I choose for it to be. My Self-appointed higher purpose.
There is no guarantee that my perception on my “higher purpose” is accurate, but I go with it because it feels like the right thing for me to do. I like the idea that this could be true. Not because I expect any sort of reward from an overseeing Goddess or Supreme Being. Not because I even believe in Karma as a rewards or points system. This is simply because I enjoy the way it feels when I think about performing this service. Often the “client”/”victim” will not be aware that I am performing this energy cleansing.
I don’t believe in a rewards or punishment system, so it is not as if I am trying to appease some overseeing deity through my actions. I’ve also worked too hard to be self-validating, so it is not as if I do any good or bad deeds in the world, trying to get approval from another human being. Any action I take on the energetic level (namely, psy feeding) is done with my own conscience as my guide.
Personally, I enjoy hearing the variety of creation myths out there. I also enjoy the creation myths that describe the first Hybrids, Sanguine and Soul Eaters (Psy Vampires). I am not sure if the Vampires of mythology [–Fictional Vampires also run under an umbrella–being of different varieties and consumers of different substances] were exaggerated retellings of actual Living Vampiric events, were symbolic stories inspired by actual Vampiric activity or simple mythology that modern Vampires relate to and adopted because of the similarities to our actual qualities.
Regardless of which folklore my fellow Psy Vamps relate to, I am perfectly fine thinking of my existence in a vacuum. It is just as easy for me to think of myself as another form of psychic creature [like a clairvoyant or psychic energy generator], as something that had a mystical origin. The creation myths of humans are fantastical, but none of them made me feel any more magickal….even though they probably should. [I’m descended from a creature that was magickally made out of dust and animated by the Original Being, Himself? Shouldn’t that or any of the other variations beequally as inspiring?] I can take energy from outside of myself. When I consume that energy, I suddenly feel better, healthier. I like the idea that I am being helpful to other fellow beings, but just for the sake of the activity, itself….like helping someone with their groceries or babysitting a nephew. Kindness for the sake of kindness, using my normal abilities.
So….You Want To Be Turned…? In most Vampire groups, someone will come along every so often and request that we turn them. What are they really asking for? From what I know of my Sang friends, the biggest hassle of being Sang is finding constant donors….a constant supply of fresh blood and all of the health issues that come from not being sufficiently nourished. From what I know as a Psy Vamp, the biggest hassle is paying attention to our own energy levels and not automatically feeding off of sources that shouldn’t be drained from, causing harm to others. The Sexual/Tantric Vampires also run the same problem of sometimes not having enough donors for their particular form of feeding.
When someone asks to be turned into a Vampire, they are more than likely unaware of the daily problems that there are in being any of the main types of Vampires. I have offered alternatives to being a Vampire. I’ve offered the inquiring party lessons in sorcery and psionics, asked them what they really wanted once they became a Vampire or what they expected to get or become once they were turned.
Once I noticed that any offers I made to inform and educate about the nature of Vampirism (as I currently understand it) were pretty much ignored, I felt the pressure to quickly analyze, then offer metaphysical lessons to get the inquirent on their way to achieving what I was GUESSING that they really wanted. My latest analysis of what people are REALLY asking for when they say that they want to be turned–is that they are asking for a quick transformation to have the full fledged powers of the Movie Vampires. (Yup, that’s it. I’m standing behind that one.) Try to offer one of our definitions of what a Real Living Vampire is to the “Turnee”…..and they will eventually drop the group and make the same request, elsewhere or argue about why they really want to be turned. They could not care less about any one of our standard interpretations of Vampirism.
A serious student of the occult, magick, metaphysics or the psychic arts would be willing to put in the study and practice to develop any skills that are possible within the realm of the humanly possible. If someone does not jump on the alternative of learning one of the metaphysical or occult arts, we could be wasting our breath trying to educate them about the reality of Modern Living Vampires. They are an unconscious form of Role Player, but they have no idea that they are role playing.
For the most part, it seems that the Turnee is more interested in the movie powers….and they want those powers immediately, without having to put in any work into achieving them. So, my latest response to the request to be turned is, “What powers do you expect to have?”….and then, I go from there.
Recently, Alexia Ashford and I were discussing the possible causes of the various forms of Vampirism. The topic of the possibility of a viral factor came up. And from there, we found ourselves discussing the controversial topic of Turning, unintentional and accidental. We exchanged quite a bit of information about it, then decided that it might be interesting to share our respective viewpoints about Turning, as a whole. Here are our thoughts on the subject–from the position of a Psychic Vampire and a Sanguine, in the Global Vampire Community…
**My viewpoint, from the perspective of a Psychic Vampire–
Should we talk about turning? Where should we start on the topic? All references from fictional vampirism and mythology aside, the topic of turning comes up regularly in forums and group discussions. Both potential Turnees (those who aspire to become Vampires) and Vampires bring up the subject from their perspective positions.
When I first came into the GVC, one of the statements that came up from the established Vampires was that Turning is impossible. It is completely fictional. It was treated as a dictate–if you were a real Vampire, you would embrace the idea that Turning was an impossibility and defend this fact.
To give the proper context, I should share my position. I came into the GVC as a Psychic Vampire. Most of the groups that I came into were of the idea that basically all Vampires are Hybrids. Whether we choose to embrace all aspects of feeding, we are basically able to feed on all things–blood and energy. I currently identify as a Psychic Vampire, because of my experiences. I have not ingested blood to date, but it is something that will happen at some point in the near future. Depending on my reaction or lack thereof, will decide my possible identification as a Hybrid or Sanguine. If there are no benefits to any blood drinking, I am okay with continuing to identify as a Psychic Vampire….until a more comprehensive explanation for my experience comes along. In short, my LIFE experience to date has been as a Psychic Vampire, with much respect and friendship towards the Sanguine sub-community within the GVC.
The concept of Turning is generally accepted to be that of performing actions on a person who had not previously exhibited commonly-defined Vampire-like characteristics/traits. The Turning is considered successful if the subject exhibits the characteristics of a Real Living Vampire, as defined by that very group that the Vampire belongs to.
Broaching the subject itself is controversial. Many types give a hard, fast “it doesn’t happen” in response, as they slam their fist on the table for emphasis. But, is it really not possible to Turn someone else….or is this one of those sacred cows that we’ve been told to believe in without question and to defend….or we are not part of the “real” group?
We are usually careful in our treatment of our mythology, folk tales and legends….they are our version of religious text. Some is symbolic, some is literal, some is literal, but exaggerated….there are references to Turning in much of our stories. We do not (need to) tear into our Donors–biting into anyone’s neck and drinking from that wound is more than likely going to kill them. We don’t take that part literally. Should some of us take the concept of Turning symbolically, as well? We need to address Turning as it applies to the two main types–Psy Vamps and Sanguines. We need to discuss both types of possible Turning, because we need to be clear that they are not the same process. Just because one type of Turning naturally reverses itself–does not mean that the other type will reverse itself as well, or not take in the first place. There are indirect warnings about accidentally turning Psy Donors or Victims into new Psy Vamps by accidentally.draining the Donor/Victim/Subject until they are at a deficit for energy….or somehow damaging their energy system, because of the extreme draining .
Psy Vampires are deficient in the amount of vital energy that they should naturally produce, hence the need to draw on this energy from other sources–including human sources. We are sufficiently warned to never take so much energy from a Donor that we damage their energy systems in any way….producing the need for the victim to instinctively draw on energy, themselves. Thus, producing a state of temporary vampirism in the victim, until their energy systems recover and they are back to normal.
In the theory of Psychic Vampirism, it is possible to create a temporary Psychic Vampire. The skills that we have in drawing energy from outside of ourselves exists within all other humans. Energy drawing and manipulation are psychic skills inherent within all beings, according to many spiritual philosophies and schools of psychic thought. Within our philosophy, any human who wishes to cultivate these energy skills can practice them….if they are called to do so and can relate to the philosophy. One doesn’t need to have the self-defining energy deficiency to be able to draw and manipulate vital energy.
There is a form of drawing energy from human and non-human sources, taking this energy into one’s self and using that energy to amplify one’s own personal energy or taking that energy to use in psychic or magickal practices. One doesn’t need to have the need born out of personal deficiency to practice the skills of a Psychic Vampire. This is all performed on an energetic, non-physical level.
The metaphysical explanation works for energy workers. This is our framework of reference. Some Sanguines and Hybrids are metaphysically-oriented. Those who are metaphysically-oriented might relate to the concept of Vampirism being energetically-based. And then we have an entirely different framework of reference in medically-based science.
There are some camps in the GVC that view Vampirism from an entirely physical perspective. These are the medically-oriented, physically-oriented Sanguines. Some running theories in the research and supposition of the medically-oriented Sangs is that Vampirism is caused by a genetic disposition or a virus with the genetic predisposition to express it.
Psychic Vampires perform their own informal experiments with energy work. We often keep track of the effects of our actions on others–again, however informally. As individuals, we often have a wealth of information that we each draw on and can pass to others, as needed. There is not so much information on the Sanguine-effect on Donors that is made available. With the recent influx of medically-oriented articles on the health and well-being of the Sanguine, we now have the beginnings of of a wealth of information on the Sanguine, themselves. But, we lack information on the effects of Sanguine feeding and interaction on the Donor.
To date, we have assumed that the part of the Donor begins and ends with the donation, itself. In the perfect donation, the Donor is treated with loving respect, under sterile and pleasant conditions. There is focus on the blood, itself…..the ingestion, then the cleanup of the Donor, the tools and the area, as necessary. But, what about the Donor?
Because we have been in the shadows for so long, we have sometimes romanticized the act of the Blood Feeding….we might have been influenced by urban legend, literature, movies. Newly awakened Sanguines that have never been picked up by respectable, knowledgable Mentors and Houses are left open to experiment, attempt procedures born out of fiction or simply guess about what a proper feeding is supposed to consist of. Knowing as much as we do about human behavior, it is not a hard stretch of the imagination to wonder if every fictional version of blood feeding has been played out in real life.
This means that blood EXCHANGE has probably been attempted. (The same sort of Donor-Vampire-Donor exchange that we have read multiple times and watched on movies/television in explicit detail.) We don’t have a lot of scientific documentation on the attempted process; but humans being what they are, it is not hard to accept that it has probably been attempted numerous times.
There have been rumors and discussion about how Donors have sometimes expressed Vampiric characteristics, after having donated a number of times. These donations were not attempts at Turning, but were instead normal feedings which SOMETIMES resulted in the Donor experiencing Vampiric characteristics for a usually temporary, sometimes permanent, set of time. Without proper observation and documentation, this phenomena was left as an afterthought, something noted after the fact….because it was not the primary intention of the feeding.
Is this Turning? Does this offer any clues into the Sanguine condition being caused by a possibly contagious physical factor–which possibly affects only those few that have the predisposition to the physical expression of whatever the causal factor might be? There are going to be some medically-oriented Sanguines, the more scientifically-oriented of the groups that are interested in exploring this idea. Without observing this possibility from here on out, we might still be left with the accidental occasional Turning that relies on a haphazard set of conditions. IF this is the case, we will still be left with rumors and sketchy reports of what might have been happening for as long as there has been a history of Sanguines and Vampires.
Should we talk about Turning? IF Turning has already been happening–under a very specific set of conditions, to a very specific set of people who are predispositioned to Turning…..Latent Sanguines?–then, the rumors of Turning are going to persist, just as they always have. Not only because of the wishful thinking of some, but because it might actually be as real as the rumors of the Blood Drinking humans and the Energy Sapping humans that were once regulated to myth and legend, before.
What are the ethics in Turning? Same as they should have always been. If someone wants to be Turned–keeping in mind that since it doesn’t happen every time a Turning has been attempted….so the clues at this juncture (without the documentation that is to come) could point to some latent condition in the Donor [which COULD classify them as some sort of unawakened vampire]–should be informed as to the reality of the Sanguine. Which physical conditions they can expect. De-glamorizing the reality, by pointing out that no movie powers come with the condition. All of the standard community warnings and advisements that come with being a Sanguine, and a Vampire of the GVC. And the possibility that the condition might be temporary, as we collect information in this new area of exploration.
What are to be the benefits of consciously Turning volunteer Donors? First of all, it would help the Sanguine/Vampire community get a hold of which factors cause an unwanted/accidental/unintended Turning, as might have occurred in the past. Second, controlled observation of intentional Turning might give us clues into which physical factors can cause certain forms of Sanguinism, which could help remedy some of the secondary symptoms that plague some delicate Sanguine systems. Third, we could eventually have solid evidence to work with when the subject of Turning comes up, again….it could be that we scientifically disprove the possibility. We won’t know until we perform more open research, under scientific observation.
**Viewpoint of Alexia Ashford, Sanguine and writer–
Turning has always been something I’ve been curious about. I’m a sanguinarian, and I’ve been aware of the Global Vampire Community for a while now. I’ve been active, on and off, since 2004. It has always been the ‘company line’ to outright deny any possibility of turning. Even mentioning it used to invite flaming, outright hostility, accusations of roleplaying. My stance is that until the cause for the sanguinarian condition can be identified, it cannot be disproved or denied. We simply do not know. There could even be multiple causes for it. I get asked about turning semi-regularly. At least one person asks me to turn them per week. People often assume it’s like in movies. They think they will get powers, that it will make them not human, or somehow exempt from the trials and tribulations of daily life. In fact, it is the opposite. It adds complexity and difficulty to your life. It isn’t an easy existence. I often tell people to imagine having to ask friends or family to be stuck with a needle or cut themselves so you can drink their blood, or your health starts to gradually diminish.
Could it be possible? Of course. No one knows the underlying cause of why we are this way. Everyone has their different beliefs and opinions, yet no one can pin point the cause for everyone. Could it be transmitted by blood? Possibly. Many young people come into the community with little knowledge, seeking to learn. I have heard of many accidents, where blood sharing has been done between the sanguine and the donor, only for the donor to have experienced symptoms afterwards; sometimes with the change being permanent. There could well be a viral factor that allows others to be infected through blood, and someone’s genetic pre-disposition/immune tolerance for such transmission. I, for one, would like to know, for my safety and to ensure the safety of others. Without open discussion and education regarding the possibilities and risks, those young people may well emulate behaviour seen in the Vampire fiction – swapping blood back and forth. Knowledge only comes with experience, education and the right resources being available.
This then leads to the ethics discussion. There are many different viewpoints on what the Sanguine Condition is. From a state of being, to a race, to it simply being how one was born, to a disease. How someone views it will drastically colour their perception of what it means to pass it to someone else, if it were possible. If it is a state of being, then why would it be an issue to turn someone else, to make them like you? But, if it’s a disease, it would be viewed more like ‘bug chasers’ who willingly seek to get infected. Even if someone did understand and consent to be changed, how much responsibility falls on the Sang themselves? Only a Sang knows what it is like. The issues it can lead to. The restraint that is required. No one can possibly know these things before they are changed; and once they are, there is no going back. To an extent, that person would become your responsibility. You will be responsible for teaching them what they need to know, showing them how to adapt, control themselves. No one knows how well someone would ‘take’ to being this way. It is ultimately a roll of the dice. My primary donor recently offered to drink from me. I immediately declined, because I cannot chance my primary donor becoming like me. I feed regularly, and need a decent volume weekly. I cannot risk that. Yet, if the opportunity were to come up elsewhere, should I? Could I? These are questions I ask myself at times.
The next question that comes to mind is, why has it been company policy to deny the possibility? If we do start discussing it openly, will it lead young, impressionable people to attempt it for themselves? But if we don’t, will people continue to stay none-the-wiser, openly share blood and lead to potential accidents? If it IS tested in a controlled (as much as possible, at least) environment, and it does work, what will that mean? Or if it doesn’t? Either way could provide interesting for research purposes. Regardless, I think these are important questions that should be asked.
Where are all of the Vampires? It seems that we are a vocal bunch, but could it be that there are only a tiny handful of us that are so loud, it seems like we are a large chorus of vampiric voices?
I belong to a few general-information Vampire groups. As well, I have opened up a couple of groups that focus specifically on Psychic Vampirism. How many Real Living Vampires are there on Facebook, anyway? Now that I think about it, it seems that I interact with the same 15-20 members of the Facebook GVC. We tend to follow and add each other to our various groups. These groups have their separate themes….they almost function like chatrooms. I remember a time when it seemed like the Psy Vamps were everywhere. Hybrids (Sang/Psys) made up a large number of the Psy Vamps, but it seemed that we were in larger numbers. It might have been that I was so excited to have found Modern Living Vampires that I assumed that they were everywhere.
Nothing against picture sharing groups, but it doesn’t seem like there are that many members who want to share useful/practical/relevant information. When I first came to the Vampire groups online, I had the impression that I was surrounded by my kind. It seemed that there were a large number of Psy Vamps, Hybrids and Sanguines–all around me. As I became more vocal on the internet, I’ve noticed that the interaction between actual Vampires [meaning, those of us who have an energetic or physical need to feed on others’ vital energy or blood] are less vocal. I can’t say with any certainty if this is because there is currently more of a silence among our numbers or if I am now noticing more clearly, who is actually interacting with others online.
The photo sharing groups are very popular–vampire and non-vampire, alike. Also, role playing by Real Living Vampires and non-Vampires calls for a lot of interaction. Groups that have “vampire” in the group name or are purported to be for vampires are numerous online. But, how many of us are there….really? As far as online interaction goes, there are about 20-30 of us that seem to interact with each other on a regular basis. If we use Facebook admin tools, we can see that articles alone can max out on 15-30 likes….sometimes, if we’re lucky, with a good handful of comments. There is another clue to be found in the “Seen by” count. In most vampire discussion and article sharing group, this count rarely ever goes up as high as the member count….unless it’s a very small group.
Some member counts are well into the hundreds or even in the thousands in some Facebook groups….where is the interaction between these hundreds of members? Why does it seem like it is the same principle group of people actively communicating (counting “likes” as a form of response), over and over again? At first, I was worried that there was a sort of boycott or exodus of Modern Vampires from the places where we can communicate online. Initially, I was worried that I should search around for those places where I can speak to and hear from my kind. I then had second thoughts.
Here is my working conclusion–I am not online to gain validation for what I have to say. Personally, I am online because I simply like sharing and conversing for the sake of communication, itself. If I think of any of the information and opinions that we “20” members share being “lost”, I am satisfied believing that what we share will float online for any new members to find, as they need it. Regardless of the silence from the general populace, I find comfort in believing that there are lurkers and shy vampires getting what they need, without having to give anything back.
A friend of mine asked me to draw on her energy….basically, to feed from her. I told her that I was going to wait 15 seconds from the time that I posted my last comment [We were private messaging.] and then feed for 15 seconds, right after. After I was done, I was told that she could not tell that I was drawing from her.
That’s okay with me. After I was done, I felt great!
One of the most common misconceptions that people have outside of the Psychic Vampire experience is that the Donor needs to feel their energy being drawn. If the Donor does not feel drained, then no energy could have actually been taken. This is not necessarily the case. There are two basic factors which lead to the awareness of being energetically affected–the Donor needs to be sensitive enough to the changes in their own energy. An excess of energy often leads to a sort of “insensitivity” to a relatively small amount of loss.
Let us take those concepts in reverse order–the reason that I prefer to spend time around bisexual people is because they seem to have an excess of vital lifeforce. To the psychically sensitive, there are various kinds of people that seem to throw off so much ambient energy that we just have to (metaphorically) open our mouths and the energy pretty much just flies in. There are types of people, just as there are environments where it is “high energy”, that make it so easy to feed without anyone noticing that any energy has been taken. Excess amounts of vital energy are rarely missed, because fresh, new energy is constantly being generated. With these types of Donors, there is rarely actually a loss because they create so much, naturally. In a way, High Energy Generators are the opposite of Psychic Vampires, the complement for those of us who are working at an energy deficit.
On that note, high energy people are not very sensitive to shifts in energy when they are stimulated in some way. Sensitivity to the subtler energies requires a calm, centered state of awareness. High energy people are so busy being excited, that it takes effort for them to calm themselves, if that ever happens. Even medium-energy people are not necessarily sensitive to shifts in their personal energy systems. It takes a bit of effort sometimes to enter the light meditative state to be aware of one’s own aura, chakras and energy bodies. I have the personal rule of not taking energy from children, the elderly or those that are ill. However, in my experience of simply being around high energy humans, I find that there are some that generate such an abundance that they would not miss any even in direct feeding. This type of person creates so much, that it would never be missed.
I have spent many years studying of the rules of karma and magick. We have many warnings on what is permissible and what is not. From my time spent observing the effects of spells and simply observing how my personal energy affected the outside world, it seems that some people are not as fragile as we are constantly being warned. Having the warning in place that we should require permission from our donors is erring on the side of caution. There are careless or newly aware psychic vampires who might not have the discernment to know when their feeding is going to be detrimental to someone else. But, from my experience, the people who generate a large amount of life force can handle more of a direct feed because they never run on a detriment. This brings us to another point that comes up within the world of the Psychic Vampire. Sometimes, the donor is not aware of the drain on the energy system. The common misconception is that if the donor did not feel the siphoning or immediately experience the effects of an energy drain, then the energy drain did not actually take place. Experimenting on small draws of energy, without announcing that I was doing so, I’ve noticed that some people do react to the energy draw by fidgeting or moving from one place to another….almost as if something didn’t feel quite right.
And then there are others, such as the aforementioned, energy-rich type who is not likely to notice much of a relatively small drop in vital force. Taking an analogy from the natural world, there are mosquitoes, fleas and vampire bats. A mosquito is not noticeable when it bites and draws blood. One can feel a flea when it bites. A vampire bat would be noticeable before it even gets close enough to one’s body. They all feed, but not all with the same display of force. A mosquito is the most stealth of them all….we do not need to make as much of an impression as a shark to be effective. It doesn’t matter how dramatic the Donor registers our draw….we do not take enough to negatively affect some Donors and we should not make physically affecting the Donor the goal. Affecting the Donor physically is actually a sign that the Psychic Vampire has gone too far. As long as we are nourished, we do not need a huge reaction on the part of the donating source.
There is a time and a place to use very specific labels and categories. And then there are situations where the more general categories serve better….it all depends on context and particular scenarios. We have some members of the Vampire Community who are adamant that we drop the subcategories and simply refer to all of ourselves as “Vampires”. One reasoning behind this is that we tend to divide ourselves and take sides depending on which classification of Vampire we belong to….usually the general categories of Sanguine or Psychic Vampire. Presumably, the idea is that if we all think of ourselves as the same “type”–all Vampires–we will act as one family. Supportive, accepting and harmonious.
That would be logical, if we could see the example of a natural unification between vampires within their own sub-group or sub-category. Sanguines fight with each other. Psychic Vampires fight with each other. Hybrids argue with each other. When we are within the same sub-group/type, we do not have the excuse of the other being a different kind of Vampire….we often find another reason to disagree. Differing type is just a convenient excuse to be in conflict. People being people, we will always have a reason to fight, if that is in our (individual) basic personality makeup. We will never get along with those particular personalities who do not have an investment or intention to get along with everyone.
Trying to get all members of the Vampire Community to embrace the single categorization of “Vampire” will not get rid of all of the possible triggers/excuses/reasons for divisive thinking. Anyone who wants to argue, will. Anyone who wants to divide, will. (There are simply some people who love to argue, even if they do not have a reasonable excuse for it.) We could embrace the umbrella term of “Vampire”, when we describe the group, as a whole. Why each subcategory qualifies to be named a “Vampire” is relative to each group, in which each member of the subclassification (type) meets their subgroup’s qualifications.
One could argue that we are all under the umbrella term of Vampire….and that to eventually separate the groups so that only one or the other group is eventually understood to be what society calls “the Modern Vampire”, might take too long in the practical sense, if it ever happens at all. We could be focusing on other issues, instead of campaigning for particular word usage. The benefit of using subcategories is that we have practical information to work with.
In the world of the Psychic Vampire, we can categorize ourselves by the types of energy that we like to consume or are drawn to consume for energetic, spiritual nourishment. Classification is for practical reasons. We might not need to use the classification at all times, but it is useful as a sort of shorthand in relevant conversation. Clarifying that one is a Psychic Vampire allows a quick sort of reference to possibly let the other GVC members know about general experience or knowledge. This allows for the opening of a common ground…..common experience or shared information that both members might be privy to. This helps the two members to share any relevant or timely information. Also, it helps to know which energies a Psychic Vampire might be more attuned to.
In general, most Psychic Vampires like to spend some time around environments where an abundance of energy is available. Also, knowing the general categories of the Psychic Vampires can be useful….knowing that one is an Elemental Vampire might make it easier to understand why this particular form of Energy Feeder prefers to spend their time outside, instead of inside. As humans, we tend to want to lump people together into the same group. We have the instinctive idea that similar things in a large group are easier to understand. We tend to want to make all Energy Feeders (Psychic Vampires) work under the same rules. Even though our activity is in the etheric/energy/psychic/spiritual realms–we might not all have the same causation for all of our being Energy Feeders. Technically speaking, for all we really know, we might be different creatures entirely (on the psychic/spiritual level)….and out of convenience, find it easier to work under the general umbrella of “psychic vampires”….because we have the same vampiric habits.
Sanguines also benefit by specific categorization. For some of us, before we came to the GVC, it is not that we heard the words “vampire” or “sanguine” and then tried to match our behavior to the GVC definitions and descriptions. Some of us come in to the community because we found the descriptions of behavior and traits that match what our experience to date has been. Many Sanguines reason that since theirs is a physical ingestion of blood, that the causation for their type of vampirism is most likely also of a physical nature. Medically-oriented Sanguines are for the most part, scientifically oriented in their approach towards vampirism. Some are atheist, some are simply more materialist or practical in their explanation of sanguine vampirism.
Spiritual Sanguines (among the many other names for this particular type of Blood Feeder) come at vampirism from a metaphysical viewpoint. They often ingest less Blood than their medically-oriented counterparts….often, but not always, their viewpoint is that it is the energetic component that is most important for their type. They often need to ingest less, use the blood as a focus for energetic feeding and often interpret their life experience through a metaphysical or spiritual lens.
As an umbrella group, we should be supportive of all of our individual group goals. The main part to be supportive of is spreading information about all the various subtypes and gaining support for their individual, personal needs….especially, when new Vampires are born into non-vampiric families.
Why do we need our individual labels? Why do we need our sub-groups and types? We distinct ourselves according to our specific needs. As humans, our specific needs in life often play a big part in our personality….what we need often drives and affects what we focus on, for the most part–in our daily and our long-term vision. We often identify so much with our needs, that when we are not acknowledged for our needs, we can feel invalidated. When we feel invalidated, we act out in negative ways with everyone around us.
Sometimes, the specificity of our “vampiric” needs not only makes us inherently distinct from the other types of Vampires, but it can sometimes give a general clue about our particular perception of reality. In general, the Psy Vamp has a leaning towards the metaphysical/spiritual and the Medically-Oriented Sanguines lean towards materialist philosophy and science. Not only do many people self-identify with their vampiric “type”, but also with their particular philosophy on reality–some people often impose their particular mix of religious/spiritual philosophy on others or assume that others should view the world through the logic of science-only. Even though, some of us alternate between science and spirituality….we often don’t do so at the same rate or within the same scenarios as do the other science/spirituality hybrids.
We need the specificity of distinct classification to preserve our self-identities and to give us the opportunity to validate and honor the diversity of our experiences, perceptions and personal philosophies.