What Would It Be Like If There Were No Vampire Community?
The first concept I consciously had of the Vampire was Bela Lugosi’s Dracula. This was back when I watched the black-and-white movie on television, with my Mother. The earliest images I had to work with were of the Fictional variety. I had no idea about real Sanguines and Psychic Vampires, at the time. I heard of brujas in Mexico who sucked the life-force out of plants. My Grandma gave me a vague idea of energy transference, when she would tell me to give her my “sickness”, whenever I was ill. But, the word “Vampire” was never attached to either activity.
I don’t remember a time in my childhood when I was not low energy. I was constantly sick and almost always tired. The doctor never found anything extremely wrong with me, beyond allergies and asthma. I was just told to eat and exercise more. I always had some occasional psychic impressions….but, because there were no clues that would lead me anywhere towards psychic vampirism, I started to explore metaphysics to give my conditions a context and possibly heal them.
Sci fi and Fantasy fiction had plenty of Vampire figures–but they were so beyond human, so beyond the capacity of possibility, that it was only within the realm of my daydreaming to be one of them. In real life, an “emotional vampire” was someone who kept your attention engaged with their stories of how badly they felt or how dramatic their life-situations were, that you were taken on an emotional roller coaster ride….and left feeling emotionally drained by the end of their visit. An “energy vampire” was very similar, in that they took up your time and attention with their neediness, until again, you were left devoid of resources and physically tired by the end of their visit. Neither of these variations of the “vampire” were mystical or metaphysical, and neither one was appealing to emulate. Various people have told me that I was an empath, over my lifetime. People said that they could tell that I absorbed emotions and negative energy. Someone described it as they felt that when we hugged, I was taking energy that they no longer needed from their chakras, as a sort of automatic and instinctive healing.
The only references I had for my lack of energy came from the systems of energy work and energy healing. So, I followed the directions for regular energetic nutrition, doing what all humans can do to stay energetically healthy. I worked with running energy through my system–solar prana, earth prana, air prana…the various rays of different systems. But, I seemed to want a lot more than what seemed usual. Within the systems of energy healing, it seemed that I required more healing than what seemed normal. I came to see myself as mostly damaged, but I couldn’t quite figure out how I had gotten damaged or how to fix it.
Within the metaphysical community (energy healers, lightworkers, pagans, magicians), there was something wrong with me since all the energy work and healing work didn’t fix my poor health, lack of energy and desire to want more psychic/spiritual/magickal energy on a regular basis. Over time, I became a fairly experienced energy healer. I’ve worked on other people with the variety of healing modalities that I exposed myself to….and I had seen many people heal and get considerably better, because of these workings.
Without a Vampire Community, I would have continued to see myself as simply damaged and needing to be fixed. Without knowledge of how Psychic Vampires function, I would never have allowed myself to fully open up to consciously feed….and finally feel full.
In energy work and magick, we have the concepts of cleansing and removing energy. But, it’s energy that we move from one place to another….or banish away from one place into nothingness. It is never addressed that one ever takes energy into one’s self from another living being. However, the opposite concept is part of healing itself. We rarely are shown that healers move energy and infuse it into the subject, without passing through the healer, first. We either use our personal energy (now, falling out of fashion in the energy workers communities) or more popularly, we channel energy through ourselves, into the healing subject. When moving energy OUT of a healing subject, we are not taught to take that energy into our self. There is a place within psychic healing for a generator and a channeler…..but not an eater or absorber.
Within the metaphysical community, I would have remained someone damaged. Because I would never fully heal within the context of the energy healing systems, I would be forever stuck. There is no place for an energy-eater, as of yet. For whatever imperfect mix of friendly members, supportive members, argumentative members and helpful members….Real Vampires, Poseurs, Allies and Friends….I found more validation for being a Psychic Vampire than I would have gotten from the metaphysical community for not having a universally positive definition for us, yet.