The Vampire Personality, Emotions and Playing Nice With Others
When I think of the biggest obstacle to everyone getting along in the OVC/VC, it is the abrasive personalities that come to mind. Particular topics or even disagreements of philosophy aren’t the first things that come up….I’ve seen members discuss subjects, without the need to be argumentative.
One of the ideas that newcomers are not introduced to is the concept that there are actually benefits to getting along with everyone else in the larger community. There is some overlap between the VC and the Pagan Communities. In the Pagan Communities, self-responsibility for one’s internal reactions [*the causes for one’s external behavior*] is emphasized in the better teaching groups, covens and circles. In the Vampire groups which have a spiritual/metaphysical/religious slant, the idea of self-responsibility for one’s emotions….which drive one’s external behavior….is pointed out.
In Nature, the human seems to be one of the only animals who is not taught how to be an adult, how to survive completely in the world when they are grown. As humans, we will have to deal with other humans who have their own complex systems of reactions and responses–some of which are highly illogical and/or highly emotional. Quite a few vampires forget that we are still human….and even if they don’t want to think of themselves as humans, that they live with their own ego/mind with it’s emotional triggers and flaws….much as other humans do. And even for those Vampires that do not identify with THAT concept, we need to keep in mind that we still interact with other people who are still moved by their emotional reactions and personal thought processes.
Most of us are not taught how to get along in groups. The earliest structures many of us have are our families. Here, we could have learned the idea that one person has supreme control or authority over everyone else. Perhaps, there is another under them who is second in command, having authority over the rest of the group, but still subservient to the primary ruler. Whether there are older siblings or relatives, or those with stronger personalities, we might learn that we have to fight or get loud to be heard or to get our way. Some of us might pick up peaceful, efficient ways of communicating with others….but in some situations, those argumentative habits might still come in. They worked at some points….sometimes, they still seem to work, in the short term.
The validation for confrontation, aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior is reinforced in the outside world. This, coupled with other factors, makes it seem that abrasiveness can often be a valid response by the time one comes into the OVC. Sometimes, we confuse hostility or aggression for Power. When we were small, we often felt powerless in the face of an angry, aggressive figure–they seemed dangerous. On some level, we equate that aggressiveness with having power over others. If we can intimidate others, then we have Power over them….and therefore, we are more Powerful.
In folk tales and stories, we hear of the Vampire as the predator. For the most part, the Vampire is a monster. He hunts, he attacks, he eats. There is nothing redeeming or kind about the traditional, mythological figure. In modern fiction, the Vampire has become a beautiful monster….he could kill and destroy, when he chooses to. He is not always a danger, but he is always a threat. It is the fear of the possibility of him turning on the others that makes him powerful. His scariness translates into power.
Whether a new, incoming member of the OVC/VC actually needs to consume blood or energy, mistakenly believes that they are a Vampire (and they actually do not have the need to feed vampirically), or are a role player….as soon as they interact with others in the community, they are–for all intents and purposes–members of the OVC. For better or worse, they are in the network and are interacting with non-Vampires and Vampires, alike. It is impossible to completely weed out or separate the non-Vampires from the Vampires, the Sanguines from the Hybrids and Psy Vampires….so, to be as functional a network as possible, it might be helpful to address that which keeps the individual member from interacting as peacefully and calmly as possible in the group.
We act out of emotion….the stronger the negative emotion, sometimes the more (seemingly) uncontrollable our abrasive responses are towards others. Because our minds are so good at trying to justify our personal behavior, we sometimes think of our anger or aggressiveness as our Vampire “Beast”. While Vampires can legitimately experience The Beast, at times….it has become almost fashionable to excuse any and all aggressive behavior as “The Beast” of some other manifestation of the Vampire personality.
When one is hungry, from having ignored the call to feed, the Vampire needs to take care of themselves and feed on the appropriate substance. Get offline, collect yourself as best as you can, and ambient feed (psy) or find a donor or blood substitute (sang). Attempting to interact with others in a reasonable manner for purposes of discussion, when you are hungry, is as bad as food shopping when you missed lunch or going into a singles’ bar when you are horny. Just don’t do it.
Be aware of why you want to interact with others in the Vampire Community. What is your motivation? What is your intention? What do you need to receive–support? information? donors and contacts? The more that you can get along with others, the higher the chances are that you can get what you need from the VC. Acting out of your emotional issues will only turn people off from you….and you are left with nothing but a bunch of drama.
For those of us who are born Vampires….I would love to believe that there is something inherently noble and magickal about us. There might be. There could be. And then again, it might be something that we need to cultivate, something that blossoms after we clear out our personality flaws and emotional wounds. It could very well be that we have the potential to be something bigger than human, if we consciously work on it. I won’t take it for granted that since I am aware of my vampirism that I don’t need to also work on my personal growth….to become a better vampire, a consciously spiritual person, an enlightened being.